Under the Surface: The Lies We Tell to Survive

“I’ll be goddamned if I show you my flaws. I will lay myself out on an altar and martyr myself before I let you see me for who I really am.”

That’s how Drew described it—living a life held together by charisma, manipulation, and perfectly timed deflection. Not to hurt anyone. Not to control. To survive.

The Lies We Tell to Survive: Why We Asked That Question

We asked Drew: “How did it feel to finally recognize that alcohol had full control over you—and then realize you had to hide that from the world?”

Because this is where it stops being a drinking problem. This is where it becomes a war between perception and identity.

And when he answered, it wasn’t dramatic. It was calculated. Measured. Worn.

Because when you spend your entire life lying to yourself just to make it one more day, telling the truth feels like betrayal. The Lies We Tell to Survive.

What That Moment Taught Us

Drew didn’t wake up one day and decide to self-destruct. He woke up every day choosing to survive the only way he knew how.

He learned how to drink without raising suspicion. How to function without collapsing. How to smile while suffocating.

And he knew exactly how to get what he needed—attention, affection, freedom—without anyone realizing the cost.

But underneath all of it was this:

“You can’t keep lying to everyone unless you’re still lying to yourself.”

That’s the weight he carried. Not just the addiction, but the shame of hiding it… and the fear of what might happen if anyone saw through it.

What This Means for You, the Listener

This post isn’t about alcoholism. It’s about identity. It’s about survival. It’s about the way we learn to protect the parts of ourselves we fear no one could love if they saw.

And the moment Drew stopped lying—first to himself, then to the people who mattered—was the moment he stopped dying.

Whether you’re an addict, a survivor, or someone simply keeping it together on the outside while breaking underneath, ask yourself:

What would happen if I told the truth—to someone who could actually hear it?

That’s not weakness. That’s the beginning of freedom. https://www.throughtherough.net/podcast/episode/2d27d886/alcohol-addiction-recovery-escaping-the-grip-of-alcoholism