I Thought I Had to Be Fixed to Be Loved

I Thought I Had to Be Fixed to Be Loved “I used to believe that once I healed, people would finally love me.”

Taylor didn’t say it like a revelation. She said it like a confession.

And that’s when the air changed.

Because that line wasn’t just about trauma. It was about transaction. About a belief planted early—that her worth was conditional. That she had to earn being loved by fixing what had already been broken.

Why We Asked That Question

At one point in the episode, we asked:

“What did you think healing was going to get you?”

It wasn’t about therapy. It wasn’t about success. It was about identity.

That question wasn’t fishing for a clean answer. It was looking for the glitch. The internal bargain so many people make:

“If I work hard enough on myself, then maybe I’ll be enough for someone.”

Taylor’s response exposed that deal. And in doing so, it exposed the lie beneath it.

What That Moment Taught Us

Healing isn’t a strategy for getting picked. It’s not a checklist that leads to belonging. It’s not a gift you earn love with.

But Taylor didn’t learn that in books.

She learned it in the loneliness that didn’t go away… even when she was sober. Even when she was “doing the work.” Even when she was better.

Because the truth is — no amount of improvement changes your worth. It only changes your perception of it.

“I thought healing would make me lovable. But I was lovable the whole time.”

That’s what broke open in this moment.

And it didn’t roar. It whispered.

What This Means for You, the Listener

If you’ve ever chased healing like it was a key to someone else’s approval…

If you’ve ever believed love had to be earned by changing who you are…

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “When will I finally be enough?”—

This is for you.

Because healing doesn’t make you lovable.

It just helps you remember that you already were. https://www.throughtherough.net/podcast/episode/1e4c0e5b/what-you-lose-when-you-keep-surviving